For some young adults in the LGBTQ+ community, the word family can carry a complicated and confusing mix of feelings. While some are lucky to have understanding and accepting relatives, others can face subtle disapproval or rejection, which can be heartbreaking. Even in households that are super accepting, young people may still find themselves asking big questions surrounding belonging, their future parenthood, and what family means and looks like to them.
This June is Pride Month and of course recognising LGBTQ+ identities is important, but we also need to reflect on how we can support the daily emotional experiences that people in the LGBTQ+ community face. This includes supporting them in their views of family and really being there to be a shoulder to lean on.
1. Listen Carefully Without Judgment
You may think that offering solutions is the best thing you can do, but often the most effective thing you can do is simply to listen. If someone isn’t accepted or understood by their relatives, it can be extremely upsetting. Sometimes, simply ranting can help them release some of their emotions and help them feel even a little bit lighter. If you can be there to validate their emotions, this can also help them feel understood and accepted, which can provide a sense of belonging.
For example, you might say something like “that sounds really difficult, I’m glad you feel okay to share this with me, and I’m always here if you need to get anything else off your chest.”
2. Remember That Family Experiences Vary
There isn’t one single narrative about LGBTQ+ experiences with family. Cultural, religious, and generational factors can all play a role. Some young adults might be navigating partial acceptance, while others may have cut ties entirely. Everyone’s story is different, so it’s important not to compare experiences.
3. Thinking About Chosen Family
Chosen family is when a number of people who aren’t related biologically decide to form a supportive and caring bond. When their biological family isn’t safe or supportive, individuals in the LGBTQ+ community may create chosen families. This might include close friends or mentors, and essentially anyone who feels like family to them. These bonds are just as strong and meaningful as traditional families. Saying something like “I see that you’ve built a strong support system, and that’s so important. That’s family too” can help them feel seen.
4. Don’t Make Assumptions When Talking About The Future
Not everyone’s path to parenthood is the same, and it’s crucial to support those close to you in exploring the journey that feels right for them. Not everyone dreams of marriage or having children, but some do. Discussing these possibilities without assuming they’re out of reach is important.
Whether it’s assisted reproductive technologies like IVF, adoption, surrogacy, or co-parenting, there are many ways for people in the LGBTQ+ community to build loving families. Pride Month is the perfect time to remind young adults that their future is open and up to them.
You might say, “If you want to create a family, there are so many ways to make that happen! IVF, adoption, and more; you get to decide exactly what that looks like.”
5. Respect Family Ties
It can sometimes be tempting to encourage unaccepting family members to talk again and make amends, but it’s not always the best option. Keeping someone toxic in their life can be draining and unhealthy. Supporting someone means respecting their boundaries, even if that means staying distant from relatives who have caused harm.
6. Educate Yourself and Those Around You
Understand the hurdles LGBTQ+ people face, particularly when it comes to important topics like family, healthcare, and wellbeing. Through this, you can learn new ways to support LGBTQ+ individuals and contribute to creating a more inclusive society.
7. Consistently Show Your Support
It’s not just about the bigger gestures; it’s about daily actions. This includes using the right pronouns, standing up against mean comments, and reminding people in your life that they are loved and you’re there for them.
Final Thoughts
This Pride month, there are many ways you can get involved! You could even consider becoming a volunteer for Diversity Role Models. This can include training to be one of our role models, helping out with fundraising events, training to run our sessions in schools and more! You can also support us here!